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Military Waivers, the Lautenberg Amendment, Recruiting?

Here's the plain facts. Hopefully this will be answered by somebody(s) in the know. Perhaps someone from military recruiting... Or someone with valid experience.

Here's the facts (devoid of the usual, "it was the cop", "it was someone else's fault" and bologna to that effect)...

5 years ago I was charged with DV. Was offered a deal I couldn't refuse, plead guilty to disorderly person, in 5 years (per my lawyer-stay good, as I was prior to-no runs ins with police before or since) there's a VERY good chance to have it expunged. Seemed much more affordable in the long run than fighting. Especially after being advised by my attorney (in Michigan) that it (DV) WILL be prosecuted, it HAS to be, by state law, to the end. No exceptions... except...The reason for the offer was a shaky prosecutors case. Nonetheless, I took the deal and do not regret it. The reason for the charge was in fact a domestic dispute. No injuries, no weapons, no hitting, kicking, no threats-we were both however wrestling with each other. No debate there. In all reality, people have been nailed to the cross for much less in DV cases, and guys that deserved much more have gotten away with it. (Re: Offer I couldn't refuse, alternative, I couldn't afford). It was a bad time and situation, but we have been together ever since (married w/children, NEVER another incident-EVER). Was simply a bad time for both of us, and we've moved on and grown together (not that that is pertinent, just wanted to get that out there).

So, I finally made the big decision and went to the recruiting center. During the initial Q&A I disclosed my record for disorderly person. It lead to further conversation, and the original charge was disclosed. (I made no attempt to be deceptive about it, I knew it would likely come up anyhow). The recruiter was a complete professional, and sensitive to the situation and lowered her voice as not to embarrass me by others being able to hear the conversation. Obviously she recognized the stigma attached to this issue. Anyway, I was then told (professionally) that there was nothing she could do. I was, under current standards, disqualified and there was nothing she could do. Due to the Lautenberg Amendment (Act). I was quite stunned, seeing as only a week ago cable news did a profile on all the gang bangers that were granted waivers in years recent past, and how the military is diligently trying to weed them all out-but having little success due to many having a code of silence. Moving on... I thanked the recruiter, and left-pretty dejected. Now I know I am not subject to the fire arms restrictions under the Lautenberg Amendment-I was not convicted of domestic violence, and I have since legally purchased hunting rifles-with all applicable background checks. (Form 4473 etc). "Clean as a whistle", as it were.

Now I also fully recognize that the military is not a revolving door employer, subject the to same rules as other employers, so I hear ya there if that's what you want to tell me. I know a charge of something big is equal to actually having been convicted. Just to get that out there too...

So, hopefully I've given the full picture...

Here's my issue. I understood what the recruiter said, but just for my own piece of mind (based on something she alluded to, visa-ve, "two years ago I may had been able to get you a waiver. Check back in a year)... I thought that was odd-because I was leaving with the notion that this was a done deal. Fate sealed. So I started calling recruiters in other states and telling them the full story of my specific situation. I called Army, Marines and Navy (no Air Force, nothing personal, just easier to find the others). I would say 60% told me the, to varying degrees, same thing as the one I went to in person. The other 40%.... VERY different story. One Navy recruiter two states over (not throwing anyone under the bus with this post) said quote, "Oh, no. You've been misinformed (tld him it was simply a friend that told me I was disqualified) you' need to request a waver. You weren't convicted of DV, and you are not disqualified from gun ownership or possession-there is no guarantee, but you are not automatically disqualified. That would be subject to approval from higher up".

I see a lot of posts on here about very specific situations, but like my experience today, none have been able to answer my question. And neither did calling around to different recruiters in different regions. The closest I can assess from memory was 60% said "disqualified automatically", 40% said "not automatically disqualified". Generally, I would say majority rules, but, you've got to understand how disappointing this experience of not even getting my foot in the door was, then recieving mixed messages.

Any experienced feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks.
The "conviction" (disorderly person, is approaching 5 years. My attorney was obviously careful to say, "may be able too", As for firearms, I have made three fully legal, from federally licensed dealers in the past 4 years. Most recently, 4 months ago. Mossberg short barrel. No issues whatsoever. So, obviously there even more mystery at the root of this all. Because before today, I'd never heard of this amendment. And I most certainly would have when I purchased a firearm months after my conviction on DP. I had it explained on another forum that even if it was expunged, the charge will still be found by the military-BUT one guy telling me ask for a moral waiver, another saying "you're done until they get desperate again". And the wheels on the bus...

Thanks for your answers so far guy, sincerely appreciated from a total stranger.